Husband wants a threesome. Advice?

Marie Asked: Husband wants a threesome. Advice?

I'm very open when it comes to talking about sexual matters.My husband isn't however and we've been trying to work on this.The other night we were talking about toys and talking about any thoughts we wanted to get out of the way about other people.He told me he thought about having a three way with him, my friend (female) and myself.Then he asked if we could try having threesomes with other people.

I have told him before that I'm willing to try anything he wants just once, but I didn't mean this.I told him we'd talk about it and last night we looked for someone because he wanted to.I wasn't okay with this, but tried to help anyways.I told him I'm not comfortable watching him have sex with another person.He said that he'd be doing stuff to me too and all i could think is that's not what I mean.Then he said that we could do it with a guy once, which I told him I really didn't want.I have a bit of an ego and self-esteem to back it up, so it's not like I'll think someone is competition.I just believe that a married couple should do everything and anything they want with each other, not others.

I'm sort of a kinkster so I don't think everything under the sun is cheating and I don't know if I really see a threesome as cheating, but I'm not sure I would hold any respect for him anymore.The fact that he thought about my friend and that he has had a year long long-distance relationship (over now) with a girl, I don't know if it would be healthy for us to do this now that our relationship is doing good.

What I'm asking is: Do threesomes damage a marriage?Is it cheating if the other partner really doesn't want it?Would it be a bad idea to try something that might promote further acts of infidelity?